Rebound!

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

-Unknown

I have been remiss on keeping you up to date on my recovery from "the fall of doom" out of fear of boring the daylights out of you.

Progress sometimes happens slowly and even imperceptibly and that's how my progress has gone. The odd thing about seemingly imperceptible progress is that it adds up! While I wasn't paying attention my recovery moved ahead by leaps and bounds. (No, I'm not leaping and bounding yet, just my recovery is.) So much so that I've strapped the Fitbit back on and am counting my steps again. Heck! I'm even calling them steps again! 

Two days ago I logged 5,329 steps and yesterday I was at 7,448! That may seem pitiful to you but to me it's exciting. When I consider how hard it was, when my Fitbit was brand new, to hit my initial 5,000 step goal and how much longer it took to reach 10,000 steps I can see that all the work I'd done (that I complained wasn't doing much) was actually making a difference. That I'm starting back much better than I started out is proof of the progress I'd made.

The knee is not quite ready for prime time yet. There are still some moves (tying shoes by crossing my leg, walking down stairs and actually kneeling) that still aren't happening yet but hey, I can walk and walking is what I want to be doing. I'd be more upset if Fitbit gave badges for shoe tying and I was missing out!

I'm impressed by the resilience of the human body. Its ability to bounce back from injury is amazing (especially when the injured party has a husband committed to keeping her from being stupid during recovery). The human spirit has the same capacity but not always the same success. I guess that's because we have a choice in how we view and respond to the circumstances that kick us down. We can choose to dwell - which is like not resting and re-injuring ourselves-or deal with them and allow ourselves to recover and move past them.

I had the same mental choice associated with this physical injury. My knee was going through its process of healing. My attitude toward that process - I have to be honest - came and went. I don't do boredom well, and patience is something I haven't developed patience for yet. This injury has been a great lesson for me in the importance of patience in processes over which we have limited  control.

There were times when I decided "enough is enough" with the sitting around. I'd hop up and begin to do more. I'd even try to force my knee to bend in ways it wasn't ready to bend on its own. The result was a lot more sitting around the next day.

Giving up control is not an easy thing for many of us and downright grievous to some (who will remain unnamed). There are times, however, that giving up control is the only option we have to achieve the best outcome. That's what I (Oops! I mean the "unnamed person") finally came to accept.

By giving up control, changing my focus, and accepting a timetable that was not of my choosing, my knee has made a lot of progress. I'm going to examine other areas of my life to see where this same principle may also be the answer.

How about you? Have you ever had to just suck it up and go with the flow? How did you cope? How easy or hard was it? 

FOOTNOTE: As I tried to stand up and leave my office, I found my knee had stiffened up considerably after being bent under my desk for too long. I guess it's more ice for little miss 7,448 steps and back to the laptop with the leg up when writing! (Shhh! Did you hear something that sounded like patience? No? Me either!) Sigh!

Thwarted!

“You may think you've hit rock bottom in your life but guess what—there's more crud underneath those rocks.”
   - Richelle E. Goodrich

Remind me, friends, to never again complain about the monotony of the getting fit process. I SO miss the boredom and tedium that I was complaining about in my last post.

See that poor girl above who has apparently fallen down and hurt her knee on what appears to be a lovely autumn day in a beautiful park? Well, that's not me. If I was that thin I wouldn't be knocking myself out with my Fitbit! (At least not as strenuously.)

Actually the only thing we two share is a wounded knee. I didn't even get the benefit of beautiful surroundings to comfort my anguish. Instead, I got what's pictured below.

The Culprit!

Yes my friends, that is a picture of the curled up rug on the floor just inside the door of Midway Airport in Chicago last Tuesday that grabbed the toe of my shoe and sent me hurling downward - landing me squarely on my right knee. (It looks so innocent doesn't it? HA!)

Funny how our best laid plans can be laid waste in the twinkle of a curled up rug! On my agenda for our trip to visit family in Utah was NOT a trip to the E.R. on the first morning. Neither was dragging a lifeless, braced, limb behind me everywhere I went. Be that as it may, that's what I did.

I'd been doing so well! I was hitting my step goals, making gains in endurance and stamina, and had even lost a few pounds through all my efforts. I'm sure you can imagine how frustrating it is to now be on the ice it, elevate it, and rest it regime without any clear indication of how long it takes to heal - what turned out to be - a severely bruised patella. (What's even more painful is the steps my sister is gaining on me during healing. If she loved me, she'd just sit and wait. Right?)

I haven't even strapped on my Fitbit for the past two days because I know myself well enough to know that I'd be push it just for the step count. 

I hoped by the end of my week long vacation I'd be back up to speed. My knee had a different plan. I still can't bend it completely and it's stiff and tender. Today I noticed that the range of motion is better than it was two days ago so I'm clinging to incremental improvements and trying once again (failing miserably) to nurture patience.

I've gained a whole new appreciation for why people actually hire personal injury attorneys through this adventure. I don't want to own an airport, just to find out whose insurance covers medical bills for accidents in the airport. Just the process of figuring out how to file a person injury claim itself causes mental anguish! A week later and after no less than ten redirects, I was finally connected to a department that handles such claims. They asked me questions like:

1. Didn't you see the curled up rug?

(Because there's nothing else to be looking for while dragging luggage behind you and trying to figure out where to check in.

2. What kind of shoes were you wearing?

(Apparently there must be a special curled rug proof variety)

3. Do you wear glasses? (Wearing or not wearing glasses apparently has an effect on curling rugs?)

4. What was your position when you fell. (Down. I thought that would be a given.)

After all the questions I was told they'd review my claim and if it was deemed valid, they'd give me a case # to file with my insurance company. WHO decides if it's valid? Apparently not the lame person whose vacation was hijacked by a rug!

 

There have been some silver linings however. I've learned how un-boring the miracle of the motion that I took for granted is. Our bodies are amazing. Even the process of healing is itself a miracle. 

I feel blessed to have a supportive husband who does everything in his power to make me feel comfortable and keeps me from being stupid during recovery.

I've learned how important it is to take care of myself. I'm sure I'm healing better as a result of the walking I'd done before the fall. My muscles were stronger going in and that can't be a bad thing.

On my worst day, I have many times more things to be thankful for than to complain about and when I focus on those things, I understand that this too will pass and, in time, I'll be able to start again.

We have absolutely no control in life. To think we do is purely pride mixed with illusion. The best we can do is make our best plans and roll with what actually happens.

 All of us at one point end face up in a ditch, but only a few will choose to look up at the stars and dream. - Shannon L. Alder

Lets be among the dreamers! Shall we?

Have you ever had to come back from a setback on your road to fitness? I'd love to hear how you coped. Please comment below. Reading doesn't hurt a bit!

The Dogged Doldrums

The two foes of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Look at that face. That, is a sad face. A bored face. An impatient, "let's get on with it already" face. That's the face I saw looking back at me in the mirror today. (In my own defense, I did comb my hair right after that picture was snapped.)

Patience is a virtue. It's not my virtue - but I've heard it's a great one! I'd love to claim it. I even make noises like I'm working toward it, but truthfully - with A.D.D. patience probably won't be what I'm know for in this life. (I just shuddered wondering if driving away with the bank tube or going through the car wash with a fully packed luggage carrier still attached to the car might be?! Nah! Those are nothing compared to crazy gluing my top lip to my  teeth. Whew!)

I have a hard time participating in anything beyond tedium and I'm afraid today I'm feeling like this "getting fit" thing is a bit tedious.

I should qualify that. I'm still going through the motions. Still working 3X a week with free weights. Still averaging my 10,000 steps a day. Fitbit is keeping me honest that way, but measurable progress seems slow to appear.

I keep telling myself if I do the work, the results will come. In fact I believe that each workout has caused results whether those results are measurable or not. I just wish they'd show up TODAY for crying out loud. I'd even settle for Tuesday. Tuesday would be good. (See I can have patience if I need to.)

It's easy to forget that my clothes are looser than they were because I've gotten use to the new feel of them. I have to wash my jeans each time I wear them to keep them from slipping down (and before, I avoided washing them at all costs just to keep them from getting tighter.)

Spending each day with myself, it's hard to see the miniscule differences - to feel the slight improvements in my fitness. I guess this is where dogged determination kicks in - during the dogged doldrums. 

I've heard it said that character is following through with something once the emotion that provoked it has worn off. This all started because of my upcoming high school reunion but it's become about much more. It's become about a better quality of life. It's about being independent and self sufficient as long as possible, and enjoying instead of dreading my "golden" years. 

So yes, today I'm bored with the idea of getting fit. I'm tired of the slow pace at which it seems to be happening, and even the competition between my sister and me has settled to a simmer instead of a rolling boil. (That's probably a good thing since crazy isn't sustainable long term.)

I'm going to sally forth, however, in the hopes that one day, while I'm not paying attention, fitness will happen. Now that I think of it, that's how getting out of shape happened. I didn't see that coming either. It was a gradual process of bad choices over a long period of time until BAM! - I was a couch potato. 

Have you gone through the fitness doldrums? How did you fight back? Throw me a bone here will ya?

Sanity Over Speed

I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane. -Waylon Jennings

In my last update, I extolled the virtues of surrounding yourself with people who challenge you. In this post I'd like to add some constraints to that wisdom.

Yes, it's definitely important to be challenged, so finding people who challenge us is a great thing provided they're not also trying to kill us.

As I pointed out in my last post, I was challenged  by a group of 8 strangers, who are  Fitbit users, to a "Workweek Hustle" where all contestants measure their progress against that of the others in the group. There's some good news and bad news to report. 

First the good news. I logged over 63,000 steps in 5 days. That's more steps than I've logged since 2010 all added together. I burned copious calories, walked many, many miles and came in second in the challenge. Yay me!

Now for the bad news. My body hates me. In my race to the finish against people who, for all I know, are 20 years old and already at peak fitness, I overdid it big time. The result is that today, by 2:17 p.m.  I've logged a total of 1086 very painful steps. I'll probably lose ground today instead of gaining ground. Compound that with the possibility that I've scared off my sister - by best competition of all - and it's definitely been a win/lose experience.

Text from sister: I can't keep up your "young" pace. (This from the sister who is a mere 11 months older than me.)

Text to sister: I can't keep up with my young pace! 

All in all, I'm glad I did it. It taught me a few important lessons (that I'll appreciate a lot more when I can move again.)

1. Some things can't be rushed. Fitness is one of them. I can get thin quickly, but not healthily and at my age health is more important that pant size.

2. If I'm going to accept a challenge, know who and what I'm up against. It was really silly to beat myself up to impress people I will never even meet. I had no way of knowing how our fitness levels matched up or any other facts that would have made my decision to participate more informed.

3. I have to be careful what I say yes to. Once I commit, I'm in. It should have been easy enough to say "No big deal, this isn't working out for me." and gone back to my own workable pace but nooooo. That's not how I operate. I'm great about keeping promises to other people - not so much myself sometimes.

4. Know when I have a good thing going. My competition with my sister and niece was  already keeping me on my toes and making me stretch. I'd have avoided rigor mortis if I'd let myself improve gradually and wouldn't have lost a day to recovery.

While it's been said:

 

No man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions. 

-G.B. Burgin 

I think I'll be wiser going forth in choosing my "crazy" moments.

On an up note: My clothes are getting looser, I'm sleeping like a champ, I'm able to do a lot more with less effort, and I have more energy than I've had in a long time. (That's not to say I've reached "Energizer Bunny" levels yet, but hey, I can dream right?)

So I'm going to end this check in with my new mantra: 

It doesn't matter what speed you run, just run! - Medana Cox 

(or walk as the case may be.)

Till next time you'll find me limping to the finish line!  

Just When I Thought It Was Safe...

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. -Robert F. Kennedy

Starting any exercise program can be harrowing. It's often made me ponder these two questions:

1. WHY DO WE EVER GET OUT OF SHAPE.

2. ONCE WE DO, WHY DO WE EVER TRY TO GET BACK INTO SHAPE? 

Seriously! It's not like trying to get back into shape isn't an exercise in self abuse. It's painful. It's exhausting. It's humiliating, and the process is so painfully slow that it takes the patience of a saint to hang in there till our efforts begin to show even the slightest improvement.

I have two friends with an interesting take on this. The first says: "I didn't have to work too hard to put this fat on so it doesn't seem fair that I should have to put in so much effort to get it off." She has a point. (But when she combs her hair just so, no one even notices.)

The second friend said: The most liberating day of my life was the day I could stop asking "Do I look fat in this?" because the answer will always be yes.

Sadly, I did get out of shape and now I'm trying to regain some degree of fitness and it hasn't been without trials. At first, my body creaked and complained with each attempt at exercise. My brain worked overtime thinking of great excuses to put it off just one more day but after strapping on my Fitbit I've never looked back, (except to see if my sister or niece are on my heels trying to overtake my step total.) I've fought back against the reluctance of my flab, persevered, and finally hit my stride.

I was reaching my daily step goals and keeping up with my kinswomen on a pretty regular basis. The 10,000 steps that seemed impossible in the beginning became a daily routine and THEN - just as I was safely settled into my brand new comfort zone, a whole new challenge presented itself. A group of complete strangers challenged me to a competition. 

I could have pretended the email went to my spam file - or that there was some cyber goof and just ignored it. (There are days my feet and legs wish I had done just that!) These people - a group of 8 - make my sister and niece look perfectly sane and if you've read my prior posts you know that's not even close to the truth! They are mostly a group of no holds barred, take no prisoners, fitness aficionados! I find myself checking my progress against the grid often because if I blink someone has overtaken me and I'm up and running again! I'm wondering if they invited me in the beginning just to make themselves look good.

 Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional. -Roger Crawford

Is this easy? Heck no. But then again, how long would I have made any progress if I'd found a groove and stuck there? I'd already found a groove before Fitbit. A comfy, cozy groove that was getting tighter and tighter against my hips and thighs. 

The new group is made of up both men and women who are all fiercely competitive, with the exception of Katy who seems to at least get off the couch with some degree of regularity if only to use the restroom and get ice-cream. So far the women are beating up on the men with reckless abandon. Jason's pride seems to be kicking in now and he and I are usually neck in neck. (Even as I type, he's sneaked past me again.) Curses!

There is one woman in the group, we'll call her Lyn, (because that's her name,) who is either a track star who spends all day running or a stay at home mom who's put her Fitbit on her 4 year old because she's racking up CRAZY step totals that make the rest of us look like we're having ice-cream with Katy.

As hard as it is to keep up at the moment, I'm right where I need to be and here's why:

If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? -T.S. Eliot 

and 

Always choose people that are better than you. Always choose people that challenge you and are smarter than you. Always be the student. Once you find yourself to be the teacher, you’ve lost it. -Sandra Bullock

and 

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. -Helen Keller

I can't stand still and grow (or in this case shrink). I need to continue to stretch myself and my commitment to living a more active life. I may never hit Lyn's step totals but I'm pretty sure I was a lot closer to Katy's when I started and I didn't believe I'd make it this far back then either so who knows?! 

I'm proud to report that yesterday I finished in 2nd place with Jason close on my heels. Lyn wiped the floor with all of us so I'm pretending she's an outlier.

I'm excited to see what the future holds - more excited than I've been in a long time. I love knowing I'll have the energy for it no matter what it is.

The invitation is still open to jump in anytime you're ready. Post your progress on here and share your glitches and glories. The accountability of having to report to all of you helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other. Until next time - keep moving!

Lost and Found

For there is nothing lost, that may be found, if sought.  - Edmund Spenser,

 This has been a harrowing week. I've written on my two other blogs about love and loss and compassion through grieving after losing two dear women that I loved and having attended their respective funerals. I write to help me come to terms with and make sense of the events that happen around me. It's a great way to process my feelings.

Well today, I'm writing about love and loss on this blog but it fits perfectly into what this blog is about. My adventures and misadventures of getting fit and using a Fitbit tracking device to keep me honest. (As honest as a device can keep me. It wasn't able to rat me out for the cupcake I ate yesterday so no one knows - shoot! They do now!)

Today while I was merrily on my way to kicking my sister and nieces hindquarters on the Fitbit Weekend Warrior Challenge, tragedy struck. I'd already walked a mile and was up to over 4000 steps by 10:00 A.M. I came back inside to revel in what I'd added to that total by working in the yard for over an hour, only to find that my device wasn't updating. I shut down the app and restarted it to see if that would clear the issue. No dice. I started running around to see if my iPhone would record my latest steps but still nothing. That's when I noticed that my device had stopped recording because it wasn't on my wrist anymore.

It felt like I'd lost another someone dear to me! It was the insult icing on the injury cake I'd been eating all week. I didn't start out loving this device. As a matter of fact I was pretty suspicious of it. Over time however it had step counted and rewarded it's way pretty solidly into my heart.

I ran back outside and retraced my steps in the yard, (probably hitting my 10,000 step goal in the process and getting NO credit for any of it.) The search was fruitless. I even emptied the yardwaste can where I'd put all the weeds, grass, and leaves I'd taken up and searched through it. My beloved Flex was not to be found. My husband went back to the track we'd walked earlier in the day even though I knew I'd had it since we'd been back.

I'd only had my Fitbit for a bit over a month and we'd grown so close. I texted my sister to tell her the sad news. Her reply was "Noooooooo! Search high and low! Did you throw it away?" I think she likes this accountability thing we have going as much as I need it.

So - completely defeated, I determined I couldn't go on without Fitbit. I was going to go right out and replace it, but first, I wanted to let Fitbit know how unhappy I was to have to be doing this after just over a month, so I called customer service. 

The guy who answered was totally sympathetic - like he understood my sense of loss. After a brief hold while checking my account, he said the first thing he wanted to try was to see if he could help me locate my present tracker. He immediately sent me an email with a link to an app that would use my iPhone to track the Fitbit's bluetooth signal. If that didn't work within 24 hours, I was to phone back and he'd help me further.

I downloaded the app right away and started the treasure hunt. Using the app is like playing hot or cold to find an item. It has bars that light up as you get closer to the signal and fades as you get further away. I got no signal anywhere except near the yardwaste can that I'd already dumped. Hoping not to have to do that again, I kept moving around the yard and watching the signal - fade away the further I got away from the inevitable yuk work.

My husband joined me for the second dumping. I held the phone with one hand and picked through the weeds, leaves and dirt with the other. As we got further into the mess, the signal picked up until finally my Fitbit emerged from a gnarled clump of weeds, dirty, but unharmed.

This is a much happier tale of loss than the past two have been. To be reunited with my original device was great and I owe it all to Fitbit's great customer service.

For any of the rest of you who are already Fitbit owners, The number I called for help was 877-623-4997. I found the number online from someone else who had had a good experience calling it. Just hit 0 when it starts giving you the selection prompts.The app that I was sent is called LightBlue and I'm sure this won't be the last time I use it.

Good customer service is getting hard to come by these days so when I find it, I feel the least I can do is sing the praises.

Now that I've done so, it's back on to the important task of hindquarter kicking. My sister and niece are counting on me! On top of that I have a cupcake lodged firmly somewhere between my hips and thighs to chase off.

Come join us! We're having a good time with this fitness thing! (Yardwaste digging excluded.)

Until next time - keep on stepping!

Off Like A Herd Of Turtles

Going slow does not prevent arriving.
Nigerian Proverb 

It's been a month and four days since I started minding my own fitbitness and you'll never believe this but I'm still not fit! I can however report that I'm fitter than I was a month ago. How do I know this you might ask so I'll share the answer.

Tonight we took our dog (Tempe) for a walk. The same walk that nearly had me coughing up a lung and dying only a month ago and I wasn't even winded. In fact, we added quite a distance to the usual walk and still no terrible exertion. That, my friends, felt pretty great. 

The free weights are starting to pay dividends as well. Chores that exhausted me a month ago hardly phase me now.

Building muscle is a two edged sword. As I was pointing out to some friends recently, when we first start adding muscle, it only serves to push the fat out further and can make us appear larger instead of smaller until we hit the tipping point where the muscle is actually helping burn fat. At that point the sculpted beauties start to emerge from underneath it all and make us proud we did the work. Outlasting the frustration is the key to success.

I've even had some "step" setbacks recently. The cold I was sure I'd kicked to the curb recycled itself into a sinus infection which left me sluggish (worst re-purposing ever!) and I fell short of my 10,000 steps for two days. (I still managed to hit the 8000 range.) Add to that losing a dear loved one and I reverted back to my "food as Valium" mode for the same two days. I missed the Fitbit "party on my wrist" that reaching goal brings, but not enough to keep me from moving on.

In the past, any backsliding would have resulted in a self-beating with the loser stick and giving up on my goals. The new loving myself as I change attitude short circuited that pretty quickly. Yes, I had 2 bad days. That's in the middle of a pretty long streak of good ones. Two bad days can't take away from me all the progress I've made. It can't deny me the stamina I've built or the momentum that has taken on a life of its own.

The battle of the bulge will not be won in a day - a week - or alas even a month, but that doesn't mean that it will not be won!

Join me? We can do this!