Rebound!

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

-Unknown

I have been remiss on keeping you up to date on my recovery from "the fall of doom" out of fear of boring the daylights out of you.

Progress sometimes happens slowly and even imperceptibly and that's how my progress has gone. The odd thing about seemingly imperceptible progress is that it adds up! While I wasn't paying attention my recovery moved ahead by leaps and bounds. (No, I'm not leaping and bounding yet, just my recovery is.) So much so that I've strapped the Fitbit back on and am counting my steps again. Heck! I'm even calling them steps again! 

Two days ago I logged 5,329 steps and yesterday I was at 7,448! That may seem pitiful to you but to me it's exciting. When I consider how hard it was, when my Fitbit was brand new, to hit my initial 5,000 step goal and how much longer it took to reach 10,000 steps I can see that all the work I'd done (that I complained wasn't doing much) was actually making a difference. That I'm starting back much better than I started out is proof of the progress I'd made.

The knee is not quite ready for prime time yet. There are still some moves (tying shoes by crossing my leg, walking down stairs and actually kneeling) that still aren't happening yet but hey, I can walk and walking is what I want to be doing. I'd be more upset if Fitbit gave badges for shoe tying and I was missing out!

I'm impressed by the resilience of the human body. Its ability to bounce back from injury is amazing (especially when the injured party has a husband committed to keeping her from being stupid during recovery). The human spirit has the same capacity but not always the same success. I guess that's because we have a choice in how we view and respond to the circumstances that kick us down. We can choose to dwell - which is like not resting and re-injuring ourselves-or deal with them and allow ourselves to recover and move past them.

I had the same mental choice associated with this physical injury. My knee was going through its process of healing. My attitude toward that process - I have to be honest - came and went. I don't do boredom well, and patience is something I haven't developed patience for yet. This injury has been a great lesson for me in the importance of patience in processes over which we have limited  control.

There were times when I decided "enough is enough" with the sitting around. I'd hop up and begin to do more. I'd even try to force my knee to bend in ways it wasn't ready to bend on its own. The result was a lot more sitting around the next day.

Giving up control is not an easy thing for many of us and downright grievous to some (who will remain unnamed). There are times, however, that giving up control is the only option we have to achieve the best outcome. That's what I (Oops! I mean the "unnamed person") finally came to accept.

By giving up control, changing my focus, and accepting a timetable that was not of my choosing, my knee has made a lot of progress. I'm going to examine other areas of my life to see where this same principle may also be the answer.

How about you? Have you ever had to just suck it up and go with the flow? How did you cope? How easy or hard was it? 

FOOTNOTE: As I tried to stand up and leave my office, I found my knee had stiffened up considerably after being bent under my desk for too long. I guess it's more ice for little miss 7,448 steps and back to the laptop with the leg up when writing! (Shhh! Did you hear something that sounded like patience? No? Me either!) Sigh!

Thwarted!

“You may think you've hit rock bottom in your life but guess what—there's more crud underneath those rocks.”
   - Richelle E. Goodrich

Remind me, friends, to never again complain about the monotony of the getting fit process. I SO miss the boredom and tedium that I was complaining about in my last post.

See that poor girl above who has apparently fallen down and hurt her knee on what appears to be a lovely autumn day in a beautiful park? Well, that's not me. If I was that thin I wouldn't be knocking myself out with my Fitbit! (At least not as strenuously.)

Actually the only thing we two share is a wounded knee. I didn't even get the benefit of beautiful surroundings to comfort my anguish. Instead, I got what's pictured below.

The Culprit!

Yes my friends, that is a picture of the curled up rug on the floor just inside the door of Midway Airport in Chicago last Tuesday that grabbed the toe of my shoe and sent me hurling downward - landing me squarely on my right knee. (It looks so innocent doesn't it? HA!)

Funny how our best laid plans can be laid waste in the twinkle of a curled up rug! On my agenda for our trip to visit family in Utah was NOT a trip to the E.R. on the first morning. Neither was dragging a lifeless, braced, limb behind me everywhere I went. Be that as it may, that's what I did.

I'd been doing so well! I was hitting my step goals, making gains in endurance and stamina, and had even lost a few pounds through all my efforts. I'm sure you can imagine how frustrating it is to now be on the ice it, elevate it, and rest it regime without any clear indication of how long it takes to heal - what turned out to be - a severely bruised patella. (What's even more painful is the steps my sister is gaining on me during healing. If she loved me, she'd just sit and wait. Right?)

I haven't even strapped on my Fitbit for the past two days because I know myself well enough to know that I'd be push it just for the step count. 

I hoped by the end of my week long vacation I'd be back up to speed. My knee had a different plan. I still can't bend it completely and it's stiff and tender. Today I noticed that the range of motion is better than it was two days ago so I'm clinging to incremental improvements and trying once again (failing miserably) to nurture patience.

I've gained a whole new appreciation for why people actually hire personal injury attorneys through this adventure. I don't want to own an airport, just to find out whose insurance covers medical bills for accidents in the airport. Just the process of figuring out how to file a person injury claim itself causes mental anguish! A week later and after no less than ten redirects, I was finally connected to a department that handles such claims. They asked me questions like:

1. Didn't you see the curled up rug?

(Because there's nothing else to be looking for while dragging luggage behind you and trying to figure out where to check in.

2. What kind of shoes were you wearing?

(Apparently there must be a special curled rug proof variety)

3. Do you wear glasses? (Wearing or not wearing glasses apparently has an effect on curling rugs?)

4. What was your position when you fell. (Down. I thought that would be a given.)

After all the questions I was told they'd review my claim and if it was deemed valid, they'd give me a case # to file with my insurance company. WHO decides if it's valid? Apparently not the lame person whose vacation was hijacked by a rug!

 

There have been some silver linings however. I've learned how un-boring the miracle of the motion that I took for granted is. Our bodies are amazing. Even the process of healing is itself a miracle. 

I feel blessed to have a supportive husband who does everything in his power to make me feel comfortable and keeps me from being stupid during recovery.

I've learned how important it is to take care of myself. I'm sure I'm healing better as a result of the walking I'd done before the fall. My muscles were stronger going in and that can't be a bad thing.

On my worst day, I have many times more things to be thankful for than to complain about and when I focus on those things, I understand that this too will pass and, in time, I'll be able to start again.

We have absolutely no control in life. To think we do is purely pride mixed with illusion. The best we can do is make our best plans and roll with what actually happens.

 All of us at one point end face up in a ditch, but only a few will choose to look up at the stars and dream. - Shannon L. Alder

Lets be among the dreamers! Shall we?

Have you ever had to come back from a setback on your road to fitness? I'd love to hear how you coped. Please comment below. Reading doesn't hurt a bit!

The Dogged Doldrums

The two foes of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Look at that face. That, is a sad face. A bored face. An impatient, "let's get on with it already" face. That's the face I saw looking back at me in the mirror today. (In my own defense, I did comb my hair right after that picture was snapped.)

Patience is a virtue. It's not my virtue - but I've heard it's a great one! I'd love to claim it. I even make noises like I'm working toward it, but truthfully - with A.D.D. patience probably won't be what I'm know for in this life. (I just shuddered wondering if driving away with the bank tube or going through the car wash with a fully packed luggage carrier still attached to the car might be?! Nah! Those are nothing compared to crazy gluing my top lip to my  teeth. Whew!)

I have a hard time participating in anything beyond tedium and I'm afraid today I'm feeling like this "getting fit" thing is a bit tedious.

I should qualify that. I'm still going through the motions. Still working 3X a week with free weights. Still averaging my 10,000 steps a day. Fitbit is keeping me honest that way, but measurable progress seems slow to appear.

I keep telling myself if I do the work, the results will come. In fact I believe that each workout has caused results whether those results are measurable or not. I just wish they'd show up TODAY for crying out loud. I'd even settle for Tuesday. Tuesday would be good. (See I can have patience if I need to.)

It's easy to forget that my clothes are looser than they were because I've gotten use to the new feel of them. I have to wash my jeans each time I wear them to keep them from slipping down (and before, I avoided washing them at all costs just to keep them from getting tighter.)

Spending each day with myself, it's hard to see the miniscule differences - to feel the slight improvements in my fitness. I guess this is where dogged determination kicks in - during the dogged doldrums. 

I've heard it said that character is following through with something once the emotion that provoked it has worn off. This all started because of my upcoming high school reunion but it's become about much more. It's become about a better quality of life. It's about being independent and self sufficient as long as possible, and enjoying instead of dreading my "golden" years. 

So yes, today I'm bored with the idea of getting fit. I'm tired of the slow pace at which it seems to be happening, and even the competition between my sister and me has settled to a simmer instead of a rolling boil. (That's probably a good thing since crazy isn't sustainable long term.)

I'm going to sally forth, however, in the hopes that one day, while I'm not paying attention, fitness will happen. Now that I think of it, that's how getting out of shape happened. I didn't see that coming either. It was a gradual process of bad choices over a long period of time until BAM! - I was a couch potato. 

Have you gone through the fitness doldrums? How did you fight back? Throw me a bone here will ya?

Sanity Over Speed

I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane. -Waylon Jennings

In my last update, I extolled the virtues of surrounding yourself with people who challenge you. In this post I'd like to add some constraints to that wisdom.

Yes, it's definitely important to be challenged, so finding people who challenge us is a great thing provided they're not also trying to kill us.

As I pointed out in my last post, I was challenged  by a group of 8 strangers, who are  Fitbit users, to a "Workweek Hustle" where all contestants measure their progress against that of the others in the group. There's some good news and bad news to report. 

First the good news. I logged over 63,000 steps in 5 days. That's more steps than I've logged since 2010 all added together. I burned copious calories, walked many, many miles and came in second in the challenge. Yay me!

Now for the bad news. My body hates me. In my race to the finish against people who, for all I know, are 20 years old and already at peak fitness, I overdid it big time. The result is that today, by 2:17 p.m.  I've logged a total of 1086 very painful steps. I'll probably lose ground today instead of gaining ground. Compound that with the possibility that I've scared off my sister - by best competition of all - and it's definitely been a win/lose experience.

Text from sister: I can't keep up your "young" pace. (This from the sister who is a mere 11 months older than me.)

Text to sister: I can't keep up with my young pace! 

All in all, I'm glad I did it. It taught me a few important lessons (that I'll appreciate a lot more when I can move again.)

1. Some things can't be rushed. Fitness is one of them. I can get thin quickly, but not healthily and at my age health is more important that pant size.

2. If I'm going to accept a challenge, know who and what I'm up against. It was really silly to beat myself up to impress people I will never even meet. I had no way of knowing how our fitness levels matched up or any other facts that would have made my decision to participate more informed.

3. I have to be careful what I say yes to. Once I commit, I'm in. It should have been easy enough to say "No big deal, this isn't working out for me." and gone back to my own workable pace but nooooo. That's not how I operate. I'm great about keeping promises to other people - not so much myself sometimes.

4. Know when I have a good thing going. My competition with my sister and niece was  already keeping me on my toes and making me stretch. I'd have avoided rigor mortis if I'd let myself improve gradually and wouldn't have lost a day to recovery.

While it's been said:

 

No man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions. 

-G.B. Burgin 

I think I'll be wiser going forth in choosing my "crazy" moments.

On an up note: My clothes are getting looser, I'm sleeping like a champ, I'm able to do a lot more with less effort, and I have more energy than I've had in a long time. (That's not to say I've reached "Energizer Bunny" levels yet, but hey, I can dream right?)

So I'm going to end this check in with my new mantra: 

It doesn't matter what speed you run, just run! - Medana Cox 

(or walk as the case may be.)

Till next time you'll find me limping to the finish line!